Often in life, there are times when the pressures of this world cause me to feel unfulfilled. Sometimes I feel as though I missed something in the past, made a wrong turn somewhere, or did something wrong that caused me to waste precious time here on earth. Time that should have been spent fulfilling a true purpose.
I was feeling that way this morning. I poured a cup of coffee and went in the closet to have a cup of coffee with God. When everything feels wrong, I know that I serve a God of Love and relationship. I know that He will be there to lean against in time of trouble. Sometimes I just forget.
Pouring my heart out to God, I asked Him for the answers. Answers that would direct me into the future. I wanted answers to what I am to do next. How am I to right the wrong turns that I must have taken in the past to feel the way I do.
The burning questions poured out like a babbling brook. What do I do next? How do I learn to hear Your Voice? What should my next move be financially? Should I do this? Should I do that?
My mind attempted to hear the answers in my head or heart, but they were muddled with my own will and the confusion of my spirit.
Then I looked at the verse of the day on my bible app. It was Matthew 6:30-33 (MSG). Those verses talk about how God takes care of the wildflowers. It says that only those who don’t know God or how He works fuss over the things of this world.
My answers were all there. It says, “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving.”
I know that this means I am taking too much responsibility for what happens in my life. I am worrying too much about what I am supposed to do to get what I need instead of trusting in God and allowing Him to give. His gifts are better by far than I could ever get with my own striving.
It doesn’t stop there, however. At the end, these verses tell us what our part is. “Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”
Here is what I can do to trust God in my life for my human concerns. Steep my life in God-reality, God-initiative, and God-provisions.
The word “steep” means to soak in water or other liquid so as to extract its flavor or to soften it. I want to soak in the things of God, and extract all of His flavor into my life, but what is that we are to soak in? God-reality, God-initiative, and God-provisions.
Reality is the world or state of things as they actually exist. God is real, His ways true. God, permeate my life with Your reality, Your existence!
Initiative is the ability to assess and initiate things independently. God-initiative is a gift He has given me and all humans to think through and begin things on our own.
Provisions means to supply with food, drink, or equipment, especially for a journey. God gives the equipment and supplies that we need on our journey through life. I don’t have to supply them myself if I trust in God’s plan instead of my own.
The realization hit me that I am again striking off on my own, attempting to trust that what I am doing will not fail. What I need to do is soak in God’s abilities, assess what I am doing with the tools He has given me, and move forward confidently with the knowledge that God is real, He gave me the initiative, and He has provisioned me for the journey!